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Chinedu

Dunni and Lashile are dirty liars.

It’s not that I’m rude o, I’ll still say hello to you guys. But I just want you to know that those people are exactly the same. Two dirty, stinky, hell bound liars.

Now on to more important things. Hello. How are you guys doing? My name is Chinedu aka fine boy Chins, aka Chins the salesman, aka Chin money – Lashile’s business partner, and basically the brains of our operation. Fortunately, he’s not around to lie and say otherwise, so my opinion stands. Yes, Lashile started the business, but when he needed someone to take it to the next level, he called me. If not for me, Lashile would have continued lifting cars from the fruit market in Lugbe, and selling them in Kaduna. I introduced him to big boys, moved us from stealing camrys and corollas to more luxurious cars, and basically changed our tax brackets.

Now, when we met, we were both still young – Shile was 29 and I was 30. A mutual friend introduced us because he knew we had the same interests – making bastard money. Lashile wanted to be rich by any means necessary, just like me, so we hit it off instantly. I had been stealing cars for a few years, and I had built myself a healthy clientele, but most of my work was in the Southeast. I knew there was so much more I could do in big cities like Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt, so my partnership with Lashile came in exactly at the right time.

Let me explain how our business was structured.

I was the people person. I had lots of friends, attended lots of parties, and had the right network to move our stolen, or recycled cars like Lashile would always say (mumu man). Lashile was the operations guy. His focus was on lifting the cars, and getting them to our storage locations, where I would then work on finding a buyer. Now before you judge us, think about this. Our business would not be successful if there wasn’t a healthy market for it – I guarantee you that 95% of our clientele knew that these cars were stolen, and the other 5% had a feeling but were probably not sure. Where else would you get the latest range rover for just shy of 70% of the actual cost?

Anyway, business was booming. Lashile and I’s relationship grew stronger, and we became best friends; brothers, even. Our relationship was solid – we were guys, and we had each other’s backs, and it remained like that for several years. We introduced each other to our families, and closest friends, and that’s how I met the woman who would eventually become the love of my life. There was only one small problem – she was Lashile’s girlfriend.

I remember the day I met Ibidunni like it was yesterday – it was on a Sunday, a few months after Lashile and I started working together. He asked me to come to the beach to hang out, and so he could introduce me to his girlfriend. I remember what I was wearing – an all-white outfit with dark sunglasses. I remember what perfume I had on – Ralph Lauren polo blue. And I remember how I felt when I saw Ibidunni – like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

You know, I just realised that you guys have no idea what Ibidunni looks like. She didn’t tell you, and Lashile is (was) too self-absorbed to do it, so let me help. Ibidunni was gorgeous. She had beautiful thick hair that she usually wore in an afro, and dyed whatever colour she felt like at the time. She had beautiful doe like eyes – somewhere between the brown of sandalwood, and the black of the darkest, starless night. Her lips were full, and pink and she had the most amazing smile – even with her slight overbite. Ibidunni’s face was one you would not forget in a hurry. But her body? That’s where the real magic was.

Ibidunni was about 5’3” and had the most amazing body I had ever seen. She had just the right amount of curves, with long legs – even for her short frame. Her skin was dark, and smooth, and so soft – yes I knew it was soft because I touched her many, many times. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that. Basically, Ibidunni was my dream girl, and I fell instantly, insanely in love with her. My best friend’s girlfriend.

Now I played it cool for a long time. Neither Lashile, nor Ibidunni knew about my feelings. I wasn’t a fool after all – I loved the girl, but not enough to mess with my money. If I told her how I felt, or even tried to steal her away, it could jeopardize my friendship with Lashile, and ultimately our business which was doing really well at this point. So I kept my feelings to myself, and watched Lashile and Ibidunni fall deeper in love, and ultimately get married.

I was the best man at their wedding, and it was on that day I realized that it would probably be a good idea to get married too. I needed something/ someone to distract me from my feelings for Dunni. So on their wedding day, I met a girl, not as beautiful as Dunni, but close enough, and I made the decision to date and marry her.

Yes, it was that easy. I’m a 6’2” light skinned, charismatic, wealthy businessman. Titi was a 30-year-old makeup artist who was eager to get married. We dated for about 3 months, I proposed to her, and we were married 6 months after.

I thought marrying Titi was the solution to all my problems. I had someone to distract me from Dunni and keep her in my memory at the same time. See, Titi and Dunni kind of looked alike – they had similar facial features, and their bodies were similar. The only difference was that Titi was lighter – light skinned like me. Their resemblance was one of the reasons I picked Titi. If I squinted the right way when I looked at her, I could see Dunni, especially when we were having sex. It fulfilled some of my biggest fantasies. I didn’t realize I was only making things harder for myself until much later.

The four of us – Lashile, Dunni, Titi and I – became a tight knit group. We did everything together. We bought houses in the same neighbourhood – right beside each other. We went on vacations together, partied together, went on joint date nights once a week together – you get my drift. We were around each other all the time, and this only made my feelings for Dunni grow stronger. Not only was I physically attracted to her, but I had also started to love her personality. She was calm and easy going, funny, with a sharp wit. I only looked forward to our hang outs as a group, because it would give me an opportunity to hang out with Dunni. I was, as the kids say, ‘down bad’.

One weekend, Titi had travelled out of town for a job, and Lashile had gone to Abuja to put out a business related fire. We were meant to go together – Lashile and I – but I wasn’t feeling too well and asked him to go without me. So, Dunni was alone at her house, and I was alone at mine. Now, as a savvy businessman, I saw this as a good opportunity – one that I could not afford to pass up. I did a little electrical work, and tampered with the wiring at Lashile and Dunni’s. I knew she would call me for help, so I would get the chance to hang out with her alone – just the two of us.

So, just like I planned, she asked me to come over and help fix the electricity issue. I did, quite easily of course, and she asked me to stay for dinner as a thank you. Now I don’t kiss and tell, but believe me when I say, that we had a fantastic time. We talked, had lots of wine, and some things happened that I will not describe, out of respect for Dunni, my girl.

You see that night; I finally expressed my feelings for Dunni. She was reluctant at first – she even ordered me to get out of the house. But I had anticipated this reaction, and I knew just what to say, and do to convince her. I spent the night at her house, and scurried over back to mine, first thing in the morning.

Now you would say that I’m a lucky guy. Married to a beautiful woman, having an affair with the love of my life, and in a flourishing business with my best friend. I was living the dream. But things started to go downhill quickly, and I had no way of stopping it.